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Name: Victoria
Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 1/19/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: Photoshoping, taking picture, writing, reading, drawing, dancing (also Salsa), singing, watching movies, doing capoeira, and talking & eating if that counts as hobbies. =9
Expertise: Talking and eating. That's what my mouth does best. Most of the time I doing one or the other.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Education/Research
Message: message me
Member Since:
9/14/2003
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| Crazy night! My friend and I were heading home after fellowship and almost the whole way was like driving in the fog. You could barely see. It was like the movie The Mist. Pretty fun drive. Good times. 
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| So apparently I've been MIA for a while. Not only on xanga but in real life. But is there really that much to write about? Life has gotten rather bleh on me. Or is it my attitude has gotten rather bleh on life?
I've been discovering a bit more of my personality..not all very desirable to be honest. But I've always been the "this is how I am" and I just accept it. I'll tell others about it and expect them to just accept it as well. We're all made different and this is how I am. That was until one of my friends came up to me and point blank told me that telling everyone about it doesn't make it acceptable.
So now I'm left with having to figure out, how can I keep my personality but making some changes to the undesirables?
Examples:
- "You always have to be right, don't you?" A friend recently said that to me for a small matter but it took me off guard. Well...of course I would like to be right. It brings peace to my mind. haha. Unless I'm wrong. And if I am wrong...for the most part I admit it. It might suck that I'm wrong but I can accept that. But what irritates me the most is...
- Being falsely accused. If I'm not wrong and you say I'm wrong, I will fight 'til the end to prove that I was not wrong. Which means...I'm trying to prove I'm right. haha. Yea... that happened today. There was this confusion on a particular Chinese character and I was just trying to find out which one was accurate. I caught someone on a mistake and that person totally turned it around and said it must have been something I did wrong. "Oh no you didn't!" For this particular situation, I was very clear on what happened. Anyways... basically the person said, "it's not about who is right and wrong..." but I forgot the rest because all I could think about was...yet you didn't hesitate to put the wrong on me when I'm pretty darn sure it wasn't my decision to change the right character into the wrong one. But in the end I did agree. At this moment, it doesn't matter who is right because what I really need to know is if the character I have on my data is correct. (But in my mind, I know I was right and not at fault.)
Anyways..I'm sure there's more annoying traits of myself but right now this is what is brought to my attention. So where is the balance? I don't "食死貓" well. Sigh..my personality. x.x
(Thanks Beryl!)
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10:20 pm - Room Status
Phase I: Clear out the trash/junk
*Status Report:
Cleared out a lot of stuff. But after this first toss, I'll probably
have to go through all the stuff again. Two waves of tossing out to
make sure I don't save unnecessary things. I'm a bit of a sentimental
pack rat that likes to keep stuff for "memory" sake. In the process of
tossing out though, I'm also starting to note how to organize the stuff
I plan to save. So here are some of my ideas:
- Photo Box: Organize all the hard copies of photos I have. (Scan them???)
- Frames: Plan to hang up some pictures to decorate my white walls...my collages.
- Earring Rack: A place to organize all my earrings. ^_^
- Filing System for important documents
- Ticket Stub box (Can't rid myself of those...sigh)
- Organize my journals (maybe date them by year...)
- Cute Piggy Bank: to put all my US coins as well as other foreign coinage.
- A section for software and instruction manuals
- Craft section: For construction paper, ribbon, scissors, card making materials
Phase II: Clothes - sort through what's to keep and what to donate/toss out.
Phase III: Rearrange furniture - to maximize the usage of the space I have for a room (I have some ideas in mind)
Phase IV: Style!
So I've been trying to change the look of the room without spending a whole lot. Some ideas...so far...
- Bought new pillow cases and bed sheets to change the color of my bed.
- Plan to buy new bed skirt (Maybe)
- Plan to buy the really long bolster/neckroll pillows (Maybe)
- Bought black frames for my wall.
- New curtains for my window
- New rug for the open area (I like working on the floor)
The names of the bed sets are hard to figure out. It's like a foreign language. I had to Google to find out the names.
I also had to rule out painting my walls because...too difficult. Same for wallpaper. Oh well.
Maybe when it's done I'll post up before and after pictures. ^_^ | | |
| | 9:38 pm - Majesty and Glory of your name | "When I gaze into the night sky
And see the works of Your fingers
The moon and stars suspended in space...
...The Majesty and Glory of your Name"
So I've been singing this song for four years in Vision and it wasn't till recently that I truly understand the wonder of those words. I found myself staring at a sky so beautifully clear and glittered with stars. The moon was shining brightly. It wasn't a full moon but it was beautiful nonetheless. You can't help but really admire God's creation like that. Sure there were a sad display of city lights on the side but man's creation was nothing compared to the beauty of the universe up in the sky. It was truly breath taking. It's one of those moments where you can't help but be in awe at how beautiful nature is. And I was thinking, if there was a meteor shower then...how much more beautiful would that be? Sadly, no meteor shower that night but God heard me and sent one falling star. It's one of those, you blink and you miss it things. So I managed to catch it. Just a sudden streak in the sky. That made my night.
In the mist of everyone going on around me, it was nice to be away from it all up. Just in the peace and calm of nature. Nature with a interesting restroom. At least it had toilet paper. ^_^
Anyways...there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Mines happen to be a sky filled with beautiful stars and a bright moon. Sadly I had to return back to the working world but for that moment, I truly enjoyed God's creation in all it's splendor. Hopefully there will be more moments like that.
Can't wait for Vision Home Concert this Saturday. I'm gonna sing that song with that image in mind.
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8:34 am - God loves me :)
So I was a little bummed last night. Probably from being really tired
and exhausted. I prayed to God because I knew this was not a good sign
or the mindset to be in.
Well
this morning I woke up to God reminding me how much He loves me. My mom
woke me around 7:00am this morning (early for me) and told me that if I
drop her off at her co-workers house, they can carpool to work and I
can have the car for today. :O Are you serious?? At that moment, I just
laid there thinking, "God you are sooo amazing!" And, of course, my mom
is so amazing too. :) I think she not only loves me but she loves her
dear husband that has to pick me up from work. So despite the fact that
I'm dead tired, I get up and get ready.
Then God did some
further waking up. As I was showering, the Holy Spirit woke me up a
second time. I thought about my entry last night and how sad I was
making this all to be. I was being emo. The way I was seeing things,
everything looked like it was going downhill.
That's when God
reminded me of a cute incident yesterday. I was helping out with
setting up for VBS when I was given the assignment of blowing balloons.
I don't know how to blow balloons so I stood there blowing and blowing
only to have the balloon get to the size of a grapefruit, at most. Then
along comes Joey who picks one up and quickly blows it triple the size
of mines. He smiles and taunts me. So I end up tricking him into a
competition on who can blow the most balloons. At one point, he was at
17 balloons while I was at 3. Mines have grown in size little by
little.. Finally I sighed and asked Joey how he did it. So he gave me
some tips which I tried. And slowly I got it. Each time my balloon got
to be bigger than the previous one, I tied it to mark my improvement.
The whole time I was telling myself, there was growth! Improvement each
time until I could finally blow normal size balloons. I was very proud
of myself. lol. Yay.
So back to my emo thoughts. Basically, God
told me He didn't bring awareness of my sins and weaknesses so I can be
sad and paralyzed by it. It's really so I can be sensitive and try to
work on it. If I didn't know about them, I would not know I needed to
change them. Now I can set up little goals, like I did the size of
balloons and work to improve a little by little. And if I'm aware of
something others do that annoys me, I should pay attention to avoid
doing it myself. My friend keeps telling me to slow down. I believe
that's good advice. Slow down and really think before I speak, before I
act, before I screw up!
So thank you God for waking me up. I
know in my tired state, these words of wisdom can only come from you.
haha. I'm still not quite awake but thank you for reminding me You love
me even when I can be such a bone head at times. | | |
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